Essay by Glenn Armstrong D. D. Pastor

INTRODUCTION:

For the believer friendship and fellowship has both a positive and negative implication. God recorded instruction in both moods for His children. No advice can be given to people that is better than to guard your friendships.

This is not only good information for children and youth, but it is equally valuable for adults of all ages.

INTERACTION:

Interaction is a sociological term that teaches that every time people meet they modify each other in some manner, even if it is such a significant amount that it may go unobserved. The changes that result can be very helpful and people prosper through friendship and fellowship. Equally, it can be very harmful and care must be taken about establishing any interacting relationship. Since is it is far easier to go downhill than up, it is easier to for negative lifestyles to be passed on to other than positive ones. Most negative input into our lives do not call for any self-disciple or control. Bad habits for example often just happen to happen and may even be unobserved in their development. While bad habits may form instantly and without effort, some studies teach that changing a habit may take a very concentrated, twenty-four hour a day determination. Every then the habit may return with the smallest triggering stimulus.

INTERESTING:

I have always been amazed at the list of activities, behavior and beliefs of the early believers. My surprise is that God listed the believers as "continuing in apostles' doctrine and fellowship", Acts 2:42. It is not surprising that doctrine was the first item mentioned because that is the base for Christian activity. However, I would not expect fellowship to be listed in the second position and prayer to be listed fourth. Clearly God is aware that all believers will need the support, encouragement and assistance that come from association with other believers.

Friendship and fellowship is vital to all believers, at all time and for all ages.

INTIMIDATION:

Good friendship should not be expected to happen automatically. To have friends, one must "show himself friendly", Proverbs 18: 24. Actually the text teaches that some friends are closer than family, "closer than a brother." The conflict of this proverb is that often the person that needs friends the most does not have them because it is harm for them to be friendly. It is not that they do not want them, rather they are too afraid to associate in a manner that make acquainting with other a very hard thing to do. Many people have this problem and it may very well affect very high profile people- people who work well with groups, but not on an interpersonal basis. Most high achievers are people who have worked hard in overcoming their fear of others. They will admit that they have not conquered it; they have learned to control it rather than let it control them. Everyone has the fear of being embarrassed by public rejection and rather than risk this happening many find it less threatening to avoid social contact that may lead to friendship. Mature believers should consider going out of their frame of friends to include other believers who may really be looking for friendship and fellowship. Certainly, every church should invent programs and activities that help believers to continue in doctrine and fellowship.

INSTRUCTION:

The gospels record that Jesus was a friend of sinner, Matthew 11:19.

While this text is an account of Jesus confronting His critics for their inconsistent comparison of both His activities as well as John the Baptist, it is not a statement in which He agrees with their conclusion. He did not agree that He was a gluttonous drunkard with the wrong associates. Nonetheless, Jesus did befriend sinful people. All of us can be glad He still cares for sinners of all form and fashions. It is very wise for a believer to exercise care with whom they associate. To befriend an individual who does not know Christ is about the only way to witness to them with the gospel, yet when the friendship leads to associating with acts that counterproductive to the gospel and character of Christ the witness is lost.

The apostle James was very concerned about the early believers and their associations. His instruction was clear, namely, "friendship with the world is enmity with God", James 4:4. "Enmity" is a stronger work than "enemy." Enmity implies that two forces are on different planes of life and can never be reconciled. God and the world can never be reconciled. The world is not a reference to planets, plants and little puppy dogs, but rather a system of life that is designed to be in contradiction to the character of Christ. It is the world system that Paul warns the believer to, "be not conformed to the world", Romans 12:2. To reach the unsaved, a believer must witness to those who not only do not know the Lord, but may have not interest in a life-style the characterized Him. God needs to give us all wisdom to witness, care, share and befriend those who need the gospel. Caring and compassion is not compromise and isolation is not biblical separation.

Friends are present if possible when they are needed or they are not friends. "No not forsake your friend…when disaster strikes you a neighbor is better than a brother who is far away," Proverbs 27:10. Some one wrote, " A friends walks in when others are walking out." It is an incongruous situation that when a person needs a friend the most, it will be a time when others find some reason for neglecting if not rejecting them. Never forsake your friend when they need you. You may need them very soon! There is not way to be a better friend than to be the first to help another who is hurting! Helping the hurting will fill any church.

INVITATION:

To become a friend to others is a most inspiring ambition. To become friends with God is even a greater challenge. God doesn't ask for much from us in order to be His friend. He only asked for us to believe Him. "…Abraham believed God and it was imputed to him for righteousness; and he was called a friend of God." James 2:23. Believing God is taking Him at His word. It is trusting the trustworthiness of Christ. It is relying on His revelation. It is personally accepting His invitation to come to Him for forgiveness and friendship. The extent that Christ has declared a "friendship" with people is demonstrated by, "lay down His life for a friend." Friendship is of people back to Christ is demonstrated by obedience, "ye are my friends if ye do whatsoever I command you". Friendship with the Father is offered to all who come to Christ for forgiveness. To those who do, our Lord said He would "call you friends." John 15:13-15.

A friend is faithful forever, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17. Don't bother counting your friends, just count on them. They will be there when you need them. If you have a hand full of friends, you are already most blessed.

Glenn Armstrong, Pastor

July 19,2006